Monday, October 6, 2014
As a mom of two kids and one of them being a girl, I was determined not to let her beat herself up the way I did. I promised myself, no, SWORE to myself that I would never say the words "I'm fat" around her. She would not know the meaning from me and would not see others that way if I could possibly help it. I made that promise 7 years ago and have held to it. My daughter has only very recently learned about body sizes and has inquired about it and all I have told her is that we are all made differently and all look different but its important to still love everyone JUST the way they are, including ourselves. As a result of holding to this promise it has given me a tiny bit more confidence in myself, however, I still struggle, I'm not going to lie. It's a fault I have and as hard as I try, it still haunts me from time to time. I catch myself self-hating and comparing myself to others. If you do this to yourself, STOP!! It will never make things ANY better by you verbally beating the poop out of yourself and I am talking to me too.
As females especially, there is a much higher standard and competitive market for beauty and body image. Why? They thrive on our insecurities and the fact that men are visual creatures. Hmm.. kinda like parasites..yes that's an appropriate name. Women have always been admired for their softer features and natural beauty, but throughout time that beauty became more and more skewed. People stopped appreciating and seeing the raw beauty to be held in EVERYONE and instead saw the Photoshopped standard of perfection that females must achieve in order to be considered "hot" or "sexy" or even "beautiful." We have followed this way of thinking and it has infected most of the population. But every great once in a while there will be something, be it a song or movie or book or person, that will celebrate the beauty in everyone, especially us that have a little more to work with ya know what I'm saying? lol. I applaud these that celebrate the beauty in everyone, I don't like the bashing of any particular style or size. There are those who are super thin and can't help it, and there are those who are short, or tall, or have gorgeous blonde hair or no hair at all. Why can't we see that we are all uniquely made and there is beauty in that? I will however say that there is true ugliness and it comes from the inside. That should be the ONLY ugliness that we see.
I have met very few people in my life who see things that way and it is awesome. They are some of the best people I have ever known and I can't help but be drawn to their natural confidence. It's a fact that confidence (not cockiness) is universally attractive. When you are confident you have more fun, don't you? You're not worrying about what people think when they see you because you are too busy just enjoying everything else, am I right? You know I am! We need to stop teaching the younger generations how to hate themselves even more than they naturally tend to do. We have no grace for ourselves physically and it becomes an UN-attainable pursuit of perfection. Not a single one of us are perfect and we need to learn to accept and love all the little "flaws" we see. Can I also say, when you stop seeing the flaws in yourself so much, you naturally stop seeing them in others as well?
So can I challenge you, whoever you are, whatever size you are, to celebrate your God-given beauty? This is a challenge that I myself need to take as well! We need to stop bashing ourselves and killing ourselves in unhealthy ways to achieve a standard that can never be achieved! Remember to stay humble and know that there is always room for improvement but it should never be an obsession to change what God has made with His own hands! Let's start seeing the beauty in every one we know and, for bonus points, TELL THEM THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY THEY ARE!!!!!! We NEED to hear these words, you never know it may even save a life or change one. So join me.. let's tell someone they are beautifully made and a fabulous work of art! <3