Wednesday, November 16, 2016

My Hiatus, Christmas, My kids and Sunsets

Greetings from within the madness that is my mind. As you may have noticed, it has been quite sometime since I have last blogged. Much has been happening and I figured I would take a moment and unload some of it here for you. So get comfortable.

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So yes, I decorated my house for Christmas already...sad part is I did it literally the day after Halloween. Christmas is probably my most favorite time of year that hits me all up in the feels and I always become all warm and fuzzy inside when the weather drops out of the tipple digits melting the wicked witch in me that comes out every summer (said the woman who had lived in the desert for over 25 years). This year I pray will bring a peace amongst the chaos happening in our country post-election. Come on, America! Christmas truce!! But I wont even begin to touch on that subject.. should you feel the desire for political debate, simply turn on your social media and insert opinions!
Ya.. fun times....

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Ok, now to address my hiatus. If any of you know me personally, you know my daily struggle with my children. I have only two, a daughter who is currently 9 and a son going on 6 next month. Trying to raise decent humans in a day and age of spoiled entitlement is no joke, so aside from that little factor, lets just throw in a wrench and make it more interesting. My daughter has always struggled in school. She is also probably more awkward than most children her age. She was evaluated for concerns of autism 3 separate times when she was younger and all concluded that she was not on the spectrum. However, she struggled in school academically every single year since she started I'm talking to the point of she should not have been passing her grades. I asked for help I did their suggestions but nothing seemed to be working so after discussing it with her doctor I had her evaluated through the school district for a learning disability. After months of testing and meetings with her, they finally met with me and explained to me that she does in fact have a learning disability particularly with math, auditory and visual processing, and working memory. It does not have a label except "Specific Learning Disability (SLD)." I was relieved to finally have something put into place to finally get her the help that she needs it has been a long road. Now the other fruit of my womb...I am 99.9% sure that he has ADHD. Both the inattentive and hyperactive kind. He is only 5 so "too young" to officially receive diagnosis of it but if you have ever met my son it would seem no shock to you. The kid has been a Tasmanian devil from the womb doing karate kicks and flips so much, he was born with toned legs (I kid you not). He started Kinder this year.. the year most parents tearfully say goodbye as they watch their little one go on to the little big leagues. Not this mama. I love my baby y'all, but I was doing cartwheels when I got home. So we have not yet entered the "100th" day of school yet and so far there have maaaayyyybe been a total of 15 good days at school with no bad reports or incidents. Ya. I get a daily complaint/message about my son's shenanigans from one person or another. "He's crawling under desks." "He's showing his belly to everyone." "He's repeating silly words hundereds of times over." "He's not keeping his hands to himself." And that list goes on. He is very bright knows everything he should even slightly ahead in some areas.  In an effort to tame the wild beast I have tried it all. Bribery, rewards, revoking privileges, taking away his favorite toys, grounding, the pep talks, etc. etc. The boy just does not quit. Strong willed. Stubborn. Obsessive. Relentless. There have been so many times where the power struggle got out of control, doors have been broken, walls have been busted, you get the picture. I can't tell you how many times I overly fantasized about a very LONG solo vacation. I cry almost daily in frustration, I am outnumbered and I am so drained emotionally that my poor husband most of the time gets whats leftover. So you can probably see why I'm kinda too blah to really blog lately.

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Then there are these amazing masterpieces that appear at the end of some of those tough days. A reminder that God is still here... that He sees me. That I'm not alone. The sky is artfully crafted in the most radiant and saturated hues of red, orange, purple and pink. A reminder that tomorrow is another day (you see what I did there Gone with The Wind fans?). So I fight on.. I many times don't want to, there are days where I mostly cry, there are days where I don't think I was meant to be these kid's mom.. but God makes no mistakes. I might not understand but I trust Him. I need Him. I cannot do this without Him. Here's to another day.. fight on mamas and papas! *fist bump*